I’m 47 trying to look 30. Someone there is 60 trying to look 40. “Ridiculous” is what it may have sounded in the 70s; we call it “I-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g”.

From a skinny college girl to a mother of two who weighed 78 kgs more than a decade ago, “slimming down” had been my undefeatable challenge for years. Never did I realize I had over-abundance of those extra layers of fat I so craved as a young lanky girl. Seeing women fuss over their diet seemed so extra-terrestrial to me back then. I was just not the types to let food show on to me, was the confidence in my genes, that isolated me from those overweight beings.

Anyways, life happens to all of us while we may choose to live in denial- at least I did! A sedentary lifestyle and a body I would gladly body-shame myself for, got me to take my obsession to look at least picture-perfect when in no way perfect. My phone swelled up with editing apps that I greedily over-used to get my fix for a flawless look. That went along well for a while until I realized I needed to work on the glaring disparity between the best self of me through the lens and the “who” I was outside my phone.

So, if you’re looking to walk that talk like I did, it will, at the outset, seem way too effortful to accomplish. That Mannequin in motion look would take all the flavors out of your dietary regime, starvation will be served in huge proportion with your paltry meal, and exercising to override your inertia will just knock you dead. That’s what you’ll get to hear, which is, but the varnished untruth!

Keto Diet, Atkins diet, Avocado Salad, Low Carb, Gluten-free food, and Veganism will be just some of the fad lines that will be thrown at you. That’s all the stuff that ought to make up the fashion statement for those with fitness goals. And when you’re caught being your usual self, eating Fried Chicken or a Burger with extra cheese, you’d be supposed to wriggle out of the exposé with yet another clincher, “Ah! That was my Cheat Diet.” To tell you the truth, all of this is mostly unnecessary.

Having almost made it to the definition of a well-trimmed body no way have I been a stickler for nutritional therapy. From a determined calorie-conscious breakfast to my surrender to the hunger tides with a pizza and waffles at night, I take on to my cheat diet three out of seven days in a week. The green tea and sugar-free tea are my appeasements for dealing with the guilt pangs of not eating what I pretend to eat.

And just in case I’m mistaken for a fitness freak for the heavy-duty treadmill and the gym-ing stuff- exercise freaks me. I live my longest 20 minutes in a day when I’m on my job involving the drudgery and confinement.

But if you’re seriously looking to lose weight, Weight loss is simple and the rules are simpler:

  • Eat your regular food reducing the portions to half of what you’d normally eat.
  • Drink enough water [8 glasses-though recommended- is highly unrealistic for me].
  • Have 2-3 cups of Green Tea [without sugar and creamer] in a day
  • Spend about 20-30 minutes of brisk walking every day.
  • Eliminate sugary and fried food from your diet, binge eating once in a month is acceptable.
  • Stop bringing home what you’re not supposed to eat- Cold Drinks, Bakery goods, Fried Snacks, Ice Creams, and Desserts, etc.
  • Eat a bowl of salad [can be carrots, sprouts, cucumber, etc, doesn’t have to be anything fancy like broccoli, avocado, lettuce, etc] and fruit such as Papaya, apples, and citrus fruits.
  • This is the difficult one- eat your dinner [or which is more like a Supper] by 7:00 pm, no carbs [Rotis or Rice].
  • Do not go overboard with drastic changes for that miracle elixir- there’s nothing such as sustainable instant weight loss.

Damn the slowing body metabolism! I conjure up my ‘utterly-butterly-delicious childhood days when I’d slice off an entire layer of butter from a butter bar or roll up a Roti smothered with a thick coat of yellow butter inside. My fondest memories go back to the butter trays at the breakfast table- from fine bone china to shell-shaped silverware-my savage fetish for butter made me so fall in love with the incredibly charming butter dishes- but sadly, and morosely, and cheerlessly- there’s no butter on my toast today!